Embark on a poignant special education journey with a military family, navigating challenges from an ADHD diagnosis to IEP meetings. Facing relocations and school transitions, they share struggles, delays in evaluations, and the quest for support. Discover their decision to move for better resources, shedding light on the importance of advocating for special education students.
Introduction to our Special Education Journey
Our unique special education journey started in Colorado with a new kindergartener and second grader. In the first few years of elementary school, my youngest faced behavior and academic struggles. These were challenges I had not encountered with my oldest. I reached out to family living far away. It was difficult for them to see or understand the day-to-day impact this had on our lives. Continued struggles led us to pursue testing, an ADHD diagnosis, and subsequent enrollment in the Exceptional Family Member Program (EFMP). I suddenly had a multitude of therapy appointments, Individualized Educational Plan (IEP) meetings, and medication management. I acquainted myself with IEPs and learned the associated terms, categories, and regulations.
Early Struggles & Pursuit of Diagnosis
PCS Turmoil and Swift School Shift
In the fall of 2022, we underwent a permanent change of station (PCS). This occurred after a last-minute change of duty station due to EFMP denial. We moved to introduce our kids and prepare for new schools after Thanksgiving break.
The school neglected to arrange a meeting or tour for us. Instead, they provided information on drop-off times on Monday morning and extended holiday wishes. In the first week, multiple incidents involving both children raised concerns about schools and even reconsidering our living situation. In response, I contacted the school liaison and, within a week, utilized the Military Exception House Bill 224. This allowed us to move my children to any K-8 school in the district, showing promise for the situation.
IEP Adaptation in a New State
Upon a state change, the IEP team needed to convene within 30 days to modify the IEP to align with the new state. At the beginning of the meeting, they presented a pre-done draft, and the IEP team appeared to have a good grasp of the items in my daughter’s previous IEP. They would remove some services due to insufficient staff support, but this was acceptable as I was already establishing various supports in the community. I had good experiences with IEP meetings previously and didn’t think much of it. We left the meeting grateful for a team of individuals who supported our children in reaching their goals.
Yearly Struggles: Escalations and Evaluation Delays
A new year presented more struggles with frequent escalations. I met with teachers, counselors, and staff, answering multiple questions. As a mom, the school wanted answers I did not possess. School staff requested an evaluation, but there was over a year wait due to already having an IEP and being understaffed. We met with the pediatrician, who referred us for an evaluation in the economy, but we encountered year-long waitlists.
Struggles outside of school were prominent as well. A neighborhood playground was no longer safe, as I felt like other parents and kids did not understand the mannerisms or escalations. An older child “should know better” yet did not grasp or understand the transgressions. Adults wanted a diagnosis like autism for supposed justifications of a fellow child’s behavior at the playground. We didn’t have a clearly defined diagnosis, community, or peers to connect with. As more doors with social interaction seemed to close, school phone calls and interactions became more frequent. Despite the various therapy appointments and consults, I didn’t have the tools in my toolbox to support my struggling child. How had things changed so much in six months?
Search for Understanding & Tools
At the end of the school year, they called a meeting to discuss current challenges and implement strategies for the beginning of the year. Once again, they presented me with a pre-done draft, an overwhelming amount of information, and quick explanations I felt pressured to accept. We left the meeting feeling rushed to finish and check the block.
Challenges & Insights in Seeking IEP Support
Team Reassignment & Unexpected Hurdles
Transitioning back to school in the fall did not go according to plan. The proposed team, which was integral to the spring IEP meeting and goal establishment, was reassigned, and I felt like our educational journey had taken a few steps back.
Advocacy Efforts & Policy Navigation
In the fall of 2023, I searched for support with the IEP. I had documentation of correspondence with the school, showed support through providers in the community, and educated myself on many of the State policies. Regardless of how prepared I thought I was, I felt bulldozed in meetings where pre-drafted documents were presented. It sounded great until later situations occurred where the language either didn’t specify, didn’t quantify the amount necessary, or was left open to interpretation.
I met with Partners with PROMISE, who finally understood what I was dealing with. I realized the school’s response changed once I knew how to support my child within the school setting and what accommodations are necessary for success.
Decision for Change & Promising Prospects
Through our family’s special education journey, we ultimately decided a move was best for our family.
While our school has some staff that genuinely care and support our child, they must equip themselves with the resources they desperately need to help their students. Discussions with the new district SPED team have already shown promise for a different team approach and how to support special education students. After a year’s wait, we finally have an appointment for a private evaluation. We equip ourselves with tools to advocate for our children, but sometimes, knowing when to look elsewhere is also essential. As all military families are used to, we prepare to move again and continue to support and advocate for our students with their new team.
About the Author
Leslie Slover is a military spouse with 16 years of experience. Having transitioned from a prior service member to a healthcare position, Leslie dedicates herself to her two children as her primary focus. In her free time, she finds joy in reading and engaging in various home projects.
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