Have you heard the term “family readiness”? Me neither. Anyone in and around the military sphere has undoubtedly heard “mission readiness.” I was in a virtual discussion and the term was used – not in any kind of intentional, direct sort of way but more as a term to understand the plight of military families…and it got me thinking.
What is Family Readiness?
The familiar concept of “mission readiness” is widely understood to be what military families live by. Family readiness, however, is a concept our community might sidestep and never truly define straight on. Because – what is it?
Mission readiness is an abstract and yet absolute concept exemplified by military service members and military families daily. The mission is whatever the mission is — wherever the military is needed, that’s where they go. And readiness is always being prepared for the mission — ready to train, ready to plan, ready to go. My soldier’s job is part of the mission. As a military spouse, I support my husband’s service and dedication with the common understanding that my support supports the mission.
One Family’s Story of Readiness
On July 3, 2015, my father-in-law was killed in a Flight for Life helicopter crash in Frisco, Colorado. It made national news, and our family was plunged into the deepest tragedy we could have never imagined. Quite luckily, we were stationed at Fort Carson in Colorado Springs – about 3 hours away. Two months before the crash, our oldest son was diagnosed with autism. A few months before that, he was diagnosed with a rare speech disorder. At 3 years old, he wasn’t talking — and I mean, no words.
My soldier is a UH-60 pilot with over 4,300 flight hours in a Blackhawk. His father was a Vietnam helicopter pilot who was shot down three times, awarded the Purple Heart, and survived to continue flying on oil rigs, fighting fires, and flying air medical for 28 years until he was killed.
When Readiness is Tested
Thirty days after his father was killed in a helicopter crash, my husband was back in a Blackhawk. A couple of months later, he deployed to Afghanistan for the 3rd time. This was his 4th deployment in eight years. And if you’re familiar with the Global War on Terror (GWOT), you know Army deployments were, at minimum, 12 months.
I was at home with two boys. The youngest was still a baby. I was thrust into speech therapy and occupational therapy three times a week, and now ABA six days a week for four and a half hours in our home. I was swamped with referrals, authorizations, and chasing information to learn anything I could.
Was our family ready for this deployment? At the time, ABSOLUTELY. His entire service was GWOT. From joining the Army after we graduated from college in 2002 and finishing flight school in 2004, we knew he’d fight in GWOT. And he did.
When our family suffered an unimaginable tragedy, and we were figuring out how to navigate our new reality, we didn’t ask – or even consider – him NOT going. Leadership didn’t either. He’s also not the kind of soldier who could stay home and watch his unit deploy forward.
Knowing he had a special needs son at home with a baby brother, and a wife who certainly couldn’t work outside of the home, his career — our livelihood — depended on his success and advancement.
I won’t answer if he was ready. But I will tell you I’ve never seen a bigger demonstration of courage than when my husband climbed back into a helicopter mere weeks after his father was killed by one.
[The picture of my husband holding his flight helmet is the day he went back to the flight line – those are his Dad’s wings on his helmet where they remain.]
Family Readiness Directly Impacts Mission Readiness
But we did. And like any other military family during GWOT, we didn’t question readiness – our FAMILY readiness. We both had missions to take care of – I had our family’s mission, and he had the military mission. And that’s how we do it, right? You may ask what my family needed at the time. I don’t know what I needed then (besides a hug). It’s a whole lot easier to judge that now with hindsight and experience.
My husband’s mission readiness is rooted in his family’s legacy of service, much like that of many others who sign up to serve our country. Our family readiness is rooted in the strength we have together, measured against the supportive systems designed to mitigate the challenges we face and the community we lean on for support.
Before every deployment, my husband gives me his wedding ring. Even though he’s overseas on a non-combat rotation right now, he still gave it to me. Because he knows the Army could send him anywhere, at any time, to do what needs to be done.
Because that’s the mission. That is readiness.
Support Family Readiness
At Partners in PROMISE, we know that mission readiness depends on family readiness — especially for military families raising children with disabilities. When families are left to navigate special education, therapies, and constant transitions alone, the strain is real and lasting.
Your donation supports military parents through 1:1 mentorship, research grounded in lived experience, and advocacy that protects the educational rights of military-connected children. This work ensures families have the support they need, so service members can focus on the mission.
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About the Author – Crystal DeVoss Mahany, MA, MPS
A proud wife to an Army Aviator, Crystal has served the military community in many capacities over the last 22+ years and is committed to serving until and beyond her soldier’s retirement. She strongly believes in serving military families and the surrounding community at each duty station.
In 2014, her oldest son was diagnosed with a rare speech disorder and Autism. Two years later, her youngest son was diagnosed with the same speech disorder. These diagnoses thrust her family into the Special Needs and Special Education community. Driven by her passion to help, Crystal went back to school and focused her research on Civil Rights, Disability Rights, and Special Education Law.
Crystal has worked as a paralegal, advocate, policy researcher, and legal analyst in Special Education Law, facilitated panel discussions on protecting the most vulnerable, and taught courses on Special Education as a Civil Right, the importance of the 10th Amendment, and Disability as a Tenet of Diversity. She has been with Partners in PROMISE since its founding, is deeply committed to policy changes to advance education policy and Disability Rights, and serves as Adjunct Faculty at George Washington University.
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