We never planned to homeschool.
Like many military families, we assumed our son would receive the support he needed through the public school system. He had an Individualized Education Program (IEP), a team of professionals, and legal protections designed to help him succeed.
What we didn’t expect was that homeschooling, something we had never considered, would become one of the greatest gifts our family has ever received.
Why We Began Homeschooling Our Military Child with Disabilities
While stationed in North Dakota, we began our special education journey. Our son first qualified for an Individualized Family Service Plan (IFSP). Like so many military families, we received permanent change of station (PCS) orders just as we were beginning to understand the system. As a North Dakota native who worked in the school system, I felt confident navigating special education services.
After moving to Florida, his IFSP transitioned into his first IEP as he entered preschool. We believed the hardest part was behind us. He had identified needs, documented goals, and a plan in place. We assumed his services would follow him. Almost immediately, we experienced significant gaps in services. The school struggled to consistently provide occupational therapy, physical therapy, and speech therapy, the very services that justified his IEP. Wanting to make sure he received what he needed, I arranged private therapies on my own. That meant bringing him to preschool late each day so he could attend those appointments first. We also didn’t feel it was necessary to bring our preschooler in for breakfast service.
Rather than being seen as a parent trying to meet her child’s documented needs, our family was flagged for too many tardies.
At the same time, his classroom continued to grow while staffing remained the same. The environment became increasingly overwhelming, and meaningful learning opportunities became harder to access. Even with an IEP in place, it was clear the system wasn’t functioning in a way that truly supported him.
Homeschooling a Military Child with Disabilities After a PCS
After a year of advocating, compromising, and trying to make the system work, we made one of the hardest decisions we’ve ever faced: we withdrew him from school midway through the year and began homeschooling.
This wasn’t a decision made out of convenience. It came after months of exhaustion and the realization that we were spending more time fighting for access than our son was benefiting from the services themselves.
Soon afterward, another PCS move brought even more uncertainty. When we explored returning to school, the receiving district couldn’t identify an appropriate placement. With an upcoming surgery and continued concerns about consistency, we decided to “redshirt” him for the year and continue homeschooling, planning to reevaluate later.
Building an Individualized Education Through Homeschooling
That reevaluation never happened. Because something unexpected happened instead.
That year changed everything. Through homeschooling, I discovered we could continue accessing support through a homeschool IEP while also using TRICARE for private therapies. For the first time, we were able to build an educational plan that was truly individualized, not just on paper, but in everyday life.
We secured consistent therapies and incorporated enrichment opportunities that reflected his interests and strengths. Lessons were adjusted around appointments, surgeries, and the days when his health required us to slow down.
As his teacher, I also became an active member of his therapy team. Instead of therapy ending when we walked out of an appointment, I learned techniques from his occupational, physical, and speech therapists and wove them into our everyday learning. Communication, movement, sensory regulation, and functional skills became part of our school day rather than separate activities.
Did it require more of me? Absolutely. I wore more hats than I ever imagined—teacher, therapist’s teammate, advocate, scheduler, and mom. There were days it was exhausting. But watching my son genuinely enjoy learning, celebrate new milestones, and experience a childhood built around his strengths instead of his challenges has made every extra responsibility worthwhile.
Instead of trying to fit our son into an existing system, we built an education around who he was and what he needed.
How Homeschooling Supported Our Military Family
Today, our son is preparing to begin his junior year of high school. We’ve continued homeschooling through multiple PCS moves, deployments, surgeries, and unexpected medical challenges. Military families know that every move often means starting over with new schools, new educators, new evaluations, and new interpretations of what support should look like. Homeschooling allowed us to take one thing with us wherever the military sent us: school. My son’s education didn’t have to restart every few years. His therapies remained coordinated. His goals remained centered on his progress rather than changing with each new school district.
The Unexpected Benefits of Homeschooling Our Military Child with Disabilities
One of the greatest unexpected blessings wasn’t just the consistency it gave our son; it was the gift it gave our entire family. Instead of our children spending their days in separate schools with separate schedules, they grew up learning, exploring, and navigating life together.
Our children learned to celebrate one another’s strengths, adapt to each other’s needs, and build the kind of relationship that only comes from sharing everyday life. His siblings became patient teachers, encouraging helpers, and some of his biggest cheerleaders. In return, he taught all of us lessons in perseverance, compassion, and finding joy in life’s smallest victories.
For siblings of children with disabilities, those everyday moments matter. Homeschooling gave our family the time and space to build deeper relationships than separate schedules would have allowed. Those bonds have become one of the greatest gifts our homeschooling journey has given us.
Is Homeschooling the Right Choice for Every Military Family?
Our story isn’t about saying homeschooling is the right choice for every family. It’s about recognizing that sometimes the supports a child is legally entitled to don’t always translate into meaningful access. Military families often face additional barriers because frequent moves disrupt services, relationships, and continuity of care.
For us, homeschooling wasn’t the easier path. It required more planning, more responsibility, and more advocacy than we ever expected. But it also gave us the flexibility to meet our son’s medical, educational, and developmental needs while strengthening our family in ways we never anticipated.
What began as a temporary solution became a way of life. It gave our son consistency. It gave me the opportunity to become an active partner in his growth. It gave his siblings the chance to develop extraordinary compassion and lifelong bonds. And it gave our family the freedom to build an education and a life that truly fit.
Sometimes the greatest gift isn’t the plan you carefully made. It’s the unexpected path that helps your child and your entire family thrive.
Meet the Author
Ashly Barta, Homeschooling Subject Matter Expert
Ashly Barta is the proud wife of an Air Force servicemember and a homeschooling mom of three. Inspired by her family’s journey, she is an educational consultant and special education advocate who helps military and civilian families navigate homeschooling and special education with practical, compassionate support.
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