A PCS move with special needs children presents unique challenges that extend far beyond packing boxes. When our family moved from the National Capital Region (NCR) to Whidbey Island in the Pacific Northwest, we had to manage complex medical needs, shift to a new Tricare region, and prepare our kids—emotionally and logistically—for a major transition. It wasn’t very easy, as all PCS moves truly are.
Preparing for a PCS Move with Special Needs Children
When I’m getting ready to move, it’s more than just the house. It’s more than just our belongings. It’s more than our cars, and of course, my job, our dog, and our precious kids. We have to pick up, pack up, and move every single piece of our lives to wherever the military decides is best for our family and our sailor. For us, that isn’t very easy. Although we’re a formerly Cat 5 EFMP Navy family with complex medical needs, the Navy has never homesteaded us, despite those categorizations and recommendations. We have moved every 2 to 3 years for the last 15 years. And I know we’re not alone. There are many military families, like us, who have moved, and moved, and moved, and moved again.
Why the Partners in PROMISE IEP Binder Was a Game-Changer
This long move wasn’t easy, but I felt more prepared thanks to the Partners in PROMISE Special Education Binder. It kept everything organized before, during, and after the move. With all the school’s required information at my fingertips, I was confident and ready. Preparing the binder required careful planning, which helped me manage Individual Education Programs (IEPs), medications, and medical records for our three children, regardless of their special needs. It reminded me of important tasks and follow-ups. I also scanned documents to create digital copies, allowing me to email schools before arrival, even without an address. Due to this preparation, we were able to enroll most of my kids quickly upon arrival.
As we were relocating from a highly populated, military-friendly area with numerous options for both MTF and out-of-town providers for our Tricare Prime family, I needed to ensure that we had hard copies of all our medical records before leaving the area. It required obtaining signatures and approvals in advance due to the processing times needed to update everything.
Managing Cancer Recovery During a PCS Move
As a stage 3C breast cancer survivor still undergoing treatment for side effects, I needed up-to-date medical records and letters from my doctors outlining past care and future needs. I made sure to have extra medicines and supplies on hand in case delays occurred during our cross-country move. When we arrived in Washington State, Tricare West switched providers, causing disruptions and making referrals challenging as everyone adapted to the new system. We faced delays, and I’m still waiting to see many doctors months later. School enrollment also took longer than expected, particularly for my child with an IEP. Despite advance notice and having all the necessary documents, it took nearly an extra week for my child to be admitted. Though frustrating, the school eventually found the right placement. I’m grateful for that, but the delays felt unnecessary.
My child missed getting screened for advancement into more challenging classes, which I think could have happened if they had enrolled them at the same time as my other child. One of the most unique things we found during our PCS move was a non-profit organization willing to help us acquire a shipping company for our second vehicle across the country. Side effects from my breast cancer cause my arm to swell, lymphedema, and my multiple battles with cellulitis, making it very difficult for me to drive for extreme distances. This non-profit organization sponsored us and provided a significant discount on shipping our vehicle. It took a lot of work on both their end and my end to make it happen, as well as a letter from my doctor, but it was 100% worth it for my family.
Communicating Clearly
My children have special needs that require clear, upfront communication about what will happen and the steps involved. When they were younger, I created a PCS PECS/social story to help them understand the moving process. Now that they are older and more experienced, they know what to pack and what to bring with them when traveling with us. I make sure each child packs their most prized belongings in a backpack to keep close. When we stay at hotels, I call ahead to ensure accommodations that make my kids as comfortable as possible. This preparation helps reduce stress and ensures their needs are met during our moves.
Setting Up a New Home After a PCS Move with Special Needs Children
Once we finally arrive and get the keys to our new home, our first task is to set up our rooms as best as we can with whatever has been delivered to our new house. We try to anticipate any delays and prep our children so they know that things might not go as planned. Delays included our household goods arriving much later than scheduled, arriving broken, and the truck breaking down, requiring our household goods to be delivered by ferry in two separate U-Haul trucks. Thankfully, that is all behind us, and everything is finally mostly together. However, as with all military moves, it is never without its share of headaches, heartache, and complications.
Recommendations for a Successful PCS Move
- Involve your children as much as possible and be honest about what to expect.
- Hand-carry vital documents such as IEPs, medical information, and birth certificates, as they’re essential for school enrollment.
- Clearly label all belongings to speed up room setup.
- Prepare extra medication and supplies for emergencies or delays with specialists.
- Plan regular breaks and active stops during travel. Hotels with pools and walking trails help kids manage energy and stay comfortable.
Successfully Managing a PCS Move with Special Needs Children
A PCS move with special needs children is complex and challenging, but with careful planning and organization, it becomes more manageable. From keeping vital medical records and IEPs up to date to preparing children through clear communication, every step matters. Leveraging resources like the Partners in PROMISE IEP binder and securing support from nonprofits made a big difference for our family. While delays and disruptions are inevitable, staying proactive and involved can help ease the transition. For military families facing similar moves, being prepared and involving your children at every stage can turn a daunting PCS move with special needs children into a successful journey toward a new home and fresh opportunities.
About the Author – Meg Graves
As a proud Navy military wife of 15 years, Meg Graves is no stranger to the hardships of military life. Meg and her husband share three children, two of whom are neurodivergent and in the EFMP. Meg, also of EFMP status as a breast cancer survivor, has first-hand experience in advocating for her children’s unique needs. Breast cancer has taught her that we all have our version of hard.
She has been at the forefront, listening and helping to create change for other families at the local school level, for all exceptional children, through her roles as a special needs educator and a member of the Special Education Advisory Committee (SEAC).
Meg has empowered, led, and encouraged other military families as their needs and families grow and change. Her role as a Navy Family Ombudsman and Air Force Key Spouse at Joint Commands has provided her with insights into how EFMP differs between the service branches. Meg graduated in 2004 from Millersville University with dual majors in English and Speech Communication, focusing on Communication Theory. She then pursued graduate coursework, focusing on Special Education and English as a Second Language education. Meg began working as Partners in PROMISE’s Volunteer Coordinator in 2022.
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