Emily’s story is a powerful testament to the complex educational challenges faced by military-connected students—a journey marked by resilience, missed opportunities, and the critical importance of proactive parental advocacy, installation services (EFMP case managers), pediatrician referrals, behavioral health assessments, and community support services.
The Landscape of Constant Change
Emily’s educational journey was shaped by eight school transitions, 12 PCS relocations, and six combat deployments during Operation Iraqi Freedom (OIF) and Operation Enduring Freedom (OEF). These disruptions uprooted her from friendships, consistent curriculum standards, extracurricular activities and interests, learning routines, and established social support networks. Each move left her feeling isolated, eroding her self-confidence and increasing her stress and anxiety.
By third grade, Emily’s mother began noticing significant academic delays, anxiety, and obsessive-compulsive social-emotional behaviors. These concerns were exacerbated by back-to-back deployments and an unaccompanied Korea tour, which brought extended parental absences and emotional strain.
The Invisible Struggle: When Support Falls Short
Despite her mother’s persistent advocacy, every academic transition as the ‘new student’ left her in a perpetual Tier 1 Universal observation status. She never received timely evaluations or assessments needed by new teachers, school counselors, or school psychologists to establish targeted (Tier 2) or intense (Tier 3) interventions at her new school. Well-intentioned but ill-equipped teachers repeatedly deferred comprehensive evaluation and assessment for continued observation. Comments like:
- “She’s doing well.”
- “Let’s observe her a little longer and see how she’s doing next semester.”
- “She’s well-adjusted and organized.”
- “She can retake this test.”
avoided addressing the root cause of her struggles. Her internal motivation to fit in led to irrational expectations of perfectionism, masking her underlying struggles with anxiety and depression.
Missed Opportunities for Intervention: Ineligible for Special Education
In sixth grade, Emily entered her fifth school, her father deployed for the fourth time, and puberty set in. She struggled with social anxiety and depression, and it affected her ability to thrive academically. Finally, her mother was successful in getting her evaluated, only to find out in the Prior Written Notice (PWN) that she was 2% away from being eligible for IEP services—a heartbreakingly narrow margin that exemplifies systemic gaps in supporting military-connected students.
Military-connected children like Emily are often overlooked at new schools, even by engaged parents and educators. Military families often prioritize family dynamics during cycles of deployment, reintegration, and PCS relocations, leading to a breakdown in essential functional skills and hindering their ability to thrive in new schools. For highly mobile military-connected students, this cycle of inaction can lead to larger academic challenges and social developmental issues as they mature.
A Delayed Discovery: The Path to Understanding
At the age of nineteen, Emily self-referred to an on-post behavioral health clinic and finally received the evaluations she had needed since third grade. Diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder and ADHD, she finally qualified for academic accommodations. While these interventions helped her navigate college, they did not make up for the inconsistent curriculum and systemic oversights of her K-12 experience.
The Critical Role of Parental Advocacy
Parents are often the first to notice their children’s struggles. Parental advocacy begins by engaging school staff, including counselors and psychologists, and leveraging available frameworks like MTSS and CSMHS. By working with installation and local community mental health providers, parents can build their network of support to help bridge educational and emotional support to meet their child’s needs.
Emily’s story underscores how parent advocacy can drive systemic change. While her journey reflects missed opportunities, it also serves as a call to action for parents, school counselors and psychologists, administrators, educators, installation partners like EFMP, and policymakers to work together to ensure no child falls through the cracks.
Effective parent advocacy involves:
- Persistent documentation of observed challenges
- Engaging directly with the school counselor and psychologist
- Understanding available support resources like EFMP
- Building networks across educational and mental health systems
The Path Forward
The experiences of students like Emily highlight the need for integrated systems of support between engaged parents, educators, and mental health professionals. Multi-Tiered Systems of Support (MTSS) and Comprehensive School Mental Health Systems (CSMHS) identify and create formal action plans to address military-connected students’ academic and emotional needs.
- MTSS ensures timely and tiered interventions, enabling students with identified needs to access additional resources. For students experiencing the disruptions of military life, expedited referrals to Tier 2 (targeted) and Tier 3 (intensive) supports can provide critical help before challenges escalate.
- A well-coordinated CSMHS fosters collaboration between schools, families, and community-based mental health providers. This partnership ensures consistent care during transitions and helps close service gaps caused by mobility.
A Call to Collective Action
The sacrifices of military-connected students and their families deserve recognition—and, more importantly, action. By fostering collaborative systems of support, we can address the unique challenges these students face. Schools must create cultures where military-connected students feel a sense of belonging, are seen and heard, and have access to the tools they need to thrive.
With the right frameworks in place, students like Emily can overcome challenges, harness their resilience, and reach their full potential. Together, we can ensure that their experiences as military-connected youth become a source of strength and not a barrier to success.
Transforming Challenges into Strength
Today, Emily is a senior in college—a testament to personal resilience and the power of eventual support. She has navigated academic gaps, overcome test anxiety, and challenged perfectionist tendencies. Her story is not unique; thousands of military-connected students continue to face similar disruptions and unaddressed academic and mental health needs.
For military families, the journey of educational support is ongoing. It requires:
- Continuous communication
- Detailed documentation
- Understanding of available school, installation, and community resources
- Unwavering advocacy
Emily’s narrative is more than a personal story—it’s a blueprint for change and a call to action for parents, educators, and policymakers to ensure no military-connected child is left unsupported.
About the Author: Sue Lopez
MCEC Curriculum and Instructional Design
Sue Lopez, a retired military spouse of 27+ years, parent of two young adults, and licensed M.Ed. in School Counselor, has over 26 years of experience advocating for military-connected students. As an MCEC Military Student Consultant, she provides personalized academic and social-emotional transition support. As an Instructional Designer, she designs state and district professional development, serves as a subject matter expert, co-leads the MCEC and NCTSN Comprehensive School Mental Health national working group, coordinates the MCEC Global Training Summit NCTSN Pre-Conference and remains a dedicated advocate for military-connected students and families experiencing transition challenges.
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This young lady has worked tirelessly thru these years! She also had a mother with cancer during the last years of her mother’s life! She couldn’t be with her mom all of the time but when mom fell and broke both arms, she had to find a place for mom and spend as much time as possible with her. She listened in on her mom’s Dr appts. and kept up on what was happening! She couldn’t be there the night her mom died, but I could (as her aunt) I watched the last breath! Sue came as quickly as she could arrange it. Sue’s brother was with us when Kay died, we all knew he had cancer and would soon follow mom! During this time she also lost two uncles to cancer! (My brothers)
This is all to add to what you know of her! She is the bravest, strongest woman I know and she has never stopped working to help others! BUT this isn’t about her it is about all those children being left behind. We talk often so she can get it off of her chest! Please listen to what she has to say and help as much as you can however you can. Thank you
Your blog has become an indispensable resource for me. I’m always excited to see what new insights you have to offer. Thank you for consistently delivering top-notch content!