Don’t Let Others Tell You You’re Wrong: Seeking Help for Your Special Needs Child

Raising a child with special needs can be a journey filled with both rewarding and challenging moments. As a parent, you may encounter skepticism and doubt from various sources, including medical professionals, educators, and even family members. However, trusting your instincts and advocating for your child is crucial. I want to share my personal experiences and provide guidance on navigating the complexities of seeking help for your special needs child, emphasizing the importance of not letting others tell you you’re wrong.

Understanding and Recognizing Your Child’s Needs

Early on, you may notice that your child isn’t hitting typical developmental milestones. This may include delays in speech, difficulty with social interactions, or behavioral challenges. Recognizing these signs is the first step towards getting the help your child needs. Early intervention can make a significant difference, and as a parent, you often know best when something isn’t quite right. Trusting these instincts is essential, even when others might not see what you see.

The Doctor’s Dismissal: Parenting Classes Instead of Testing

Having already raised two sons, I knew something was different with my third. I followed my instinct and requested developmental testing for my youngest son. I was infuriated when my son’s pediatrician, without my knowledge, enrolled me in parenting classes rather than addressing my concerns about his development. It was a slap in the face to my instincts as a parent and this disrespectful treatment only strengthened my desire to get the help my son needed. Here, again, don’t let others tell you you’re wrong. I sought a second opinion and pushed for proper evaluations. It was a challenging process, but persistence paid off when my son was finally diagnosed and received the support he needed–ABA therapy. It became a game changer for our family.

Facing School Challenges: Mislabeling and Punishment

When my son entered first grade, the challenges continued. Despite having an Individualized Education Plan (IEP) and behavior intervention plan in place, he was suspended an astonishing eight times in one semester. The principal’s decision to label him a “bully” based on his size was incredibly disappointing and frustrating. I knew I had to advocate for his rights. I worked relentlessly to ensure the school provided the support he desperately needed. Although it often felt like an uphill battle, the school finally provided the necessary staff training. The difference in the second semester was night and day. 

The Decision to Homeschool: Protecting Your Child’s Future

Fast forward to when my son was thirteen years old: three schools, a global pandemic, and a PCS later, the public school situation had become intolerable. Repeated failures to implement his IEP eroded his confidence and mental health, leading to increasingly disruptive behavior. His physical stature–5’10” and over 200lbs–and the school’s reliance on security measures to manage incidents created a dangerous and stressful situation. Heartbroken by his suffering, I made the difficult but necessary decision to homeschool him. This change provided a safe and nurturing space where we could address his unique needs, rebuild his confidence, and shape a brighter future.

Dealing with Doubt and Criticism

While navigating this journey, I encountered moments of doubt and external criticism. However, the belief in my son’s potential and the unwavering support of family and friends propelled me forward. Building a strong support network has also been instrumental in our journey. I am eternally grateful to our ABA therapists, dedicated school staff, and compassionate medical professionals. Sharing experiences with other parents has been a lifeline, offering hope, practical advice, and a reminder that I am not alone.

The Positive Impact of Advocacy and Support

Despite the challenges, my persistent advocacy has had a positive impact on my child’s development and well-being. He’ll start 10th grade, back in school next week. The progress he has made due to the right support and interventions is a testament to the importance of not giving up. Seeing him succeed and thrive despite the obstacles has been incredibly rewarding. It reaffirms the importance of trusting oneself and advocating tirelessly for our children.

Trusting your instincts and advocating for your child, even when others doubt you, is crucial. The journey may be challenging, but the positive impact of your efforts will be profound. Do not let others tell you you’re wrong. Seek the help your child needs and trust that you know what is best for them.

About the Author – Patricia Byrd

Patricia is a former Army officer and dedicated military spouse of over 25 years. She now focuses on guiding their three sons while supporting her husband’s military career. Her leadership and resilience are evident in her commitment to her family, community, and the military lifestyle.