April is the Month of the Military Child. To most people, it’s just another month celebrating something they are vaguely aware of, chalking it up to the same importance or unimportance as every other month. Who really remembers Blood Donor Awareness Month (January), Alzheimer’s Disease Awareness Month (November), or any causes brought to light each month? April and the Month of the Military Child are no different unless you’re like me and are acutely aware of the military child’s importance and significant magical powers.
Life as a Military Family: Raising Resilient Military Kids Through Constant Change
We are an Army family; my husband has been in the Army as an Apache helicopter pilot for 20 years. We have three of the most amazing BRATS: Jackson, Grace, and Nora. Like most BRATS, Jackson and Grace have spent no more than three years at a duty station, sometimes as little as 11 months before we packed and moved again. Nora, at only five years old, lives in her third state. Thankfully, Jackson and Grace have only experienced one deployment lasting a year but were too young to remember what it was like, and only I recall their heartache at missing Daddy.
Magical Powers
So what magical powers does a military child possess, you ask? Let me paint you a picture. Before we moved to our current station, the kids were heartbroken to leave where we were. We all loved their schools, they had the most amazing friends, they had found their place. We knew where the good parks were, our favorite spots for ice cream on a hot Saturday, and the best lake for picnics and swimming. There were many tears the day we watched our little house disappear in our rear-view mirror. About a week later, we took a break from the craziness of moving to our new home and went to the park in our neighborhood.
After about ten minutes of play, Nora and Grace came to tell me, “Mom, we are having the best time playing with our new best friends!”
“That’s great! What are their names?” I ask them. “We have no idea!” They run off to rejoin their new best friends! The beautiful relationship that was beginning between these excited children would grow over our time here.
The Gift of Instant Friendship and Unshakable Resilience
The magic that all of these children possess is the gift of facing adversity and the unknown. During uncertainty, these kids have learned to step out of their comfort areas to meet people with the confidence that many adults don’t possess. They know time can be short and have learned to make the best of it and find their place in the blink of an eye. Now, these unknown park children are very dear friends who will always play a part in making our children who they are now. Unfortunately, our friends will leave us behind as they prepare to move to a new duty station in a few months. Nora tells me daily how sad she is that her friend is moving away and how she’ll miss her. Just as they keep in touch with friends from our last duty station, they will keep in touch with these friends, but new ones will take their place, which will be equally important.
Not Always Sunshine
At this new station, things haven’t been as easy for Jackson. He has unfortunately experienced bullying (not too serious, and thankfully not overly physical). This time, some in his school see him as an outsider, and some have been very unkind. He is a kind soul, genuinely caring, and loves with his whole heart, something that, in part, comes with seeing other cultures and life situations that he’s experienced in our various duty stations. Jackson’s magical powers are his ability to use what military life has taught him to find the good in people or situations that may not be ideal; he makes the best of what he’s presented. He still has compassion, even for his bully, trying to see their perspective and reason. He is a strong boy and found his friends, some at school and some at his karate dojo with the most amazing Renshi and students; he just had to work a little harder than his sisters. Because of his experiences, he’s always quick to welcome the next new kid with open arms. He will never meet an “outsider” and love you from the beginning.
My Heroes
There is a probability that our world will be turned upside down again next summer as we take our turn at the ever-looming change in duty station. The kids are already mourning the loss of the friends they have made here and will have to leave behind. They have once again found their places, friends, and home. Talking with the kids about our next move, Nora was explaining to me why she’d be sad to leave but, in the same breath, said she was excited to see what would be next. It breaks my heart to think about pulling the girls from their gymnastics gym and Jackson from his dojo, the places they see as home. Jackson told me the hardest part about military life was leaving friends, but the best part was having friends everywhere. They see strangers as friends they just haven’t met yet. Their go-getter attitudes, facing heartache head-on with heads held high, and excitement at meeting another unknown as an adventure are what make these magical creatures my heroes.
About the Authors
The Haas Family
Katie is the 20-year military spouse of Brian, an Apache pilot with the Army. They have three children: Jackson, Grace, and Nora. Katie loves to bake and decorate cookies and cakes. Jackson is a green belt in karate and plays baseball. Grace enjoys tumbling and cheerleading. Nora loves gymnastics and playing with her friends. They are currently stationed at Fort Novosel, Alabama.
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