Learning the Diagnosis
As a mom, hearing that my son Alex was autistic 13 years ago was one of the hardest moments of my life. It wasn’t something I ever expected to hear, and at that moment, fear filled my heart. I was afraid of the unknowns—the challenges we would face, the obstacles I couldn’t yet see, and the uncertainty of how his life would unfold. The questions were endless: Would he be okay? Would he find friends? Would he ever feel like he belonged? That moment marked the beginning of a journey I never imagined, one filled with both struggles and incredible victories.
Becoming His Best Advocate Instead of an Obstacle
Like many parents, my first instinct was to protect Alex from everything. I wanted to wrap him in a bubble so that no one could hurt him or make him feel less than he was. But what I didn’t realize at the time was that, in trying to protect him, I was unintentionally becoming an obstacle to his growth. My fears were holding him back.
The turning point came when I understood that Alex didn’t need to be shielded from the world—he needed the chance to explore it. He needed space to try, to learn, to fail, and to succeed. And he needed me not as his protector in a bubble, but as his strongest advocate. That meant making sure he had access to the resources, support, and opportunities that would allow him to thrive. I had to learn to step back and trust that he would be okay—and that trust became one of the greatest gifts I could give him. Sometimes I feel that I am protecting him behind the scenes.
What Success Looks Like
For Alex, success has never been about measuring up to other kids his age. It has always been about reaching his own goals, even when those goals seemed out of reach. We went from a little boy who could barely speak at five years old to a young man who graduated high school this past June as a certified Instructional Assistant (IA). From endless doctor visits, therapy sessions, and numerous IEP meetings, we made it to celebrate his graduation and an internship that will take him to his future career path.
I’ll never forget when, as a sophomore, Alex told me he wanted to become an Instructional Assistant and help kids with special needs. At first, I thought it was a sweet dream, but I doubted if it could happen because, c’mon, at home, Alex was barely talking in sentences. I was still seeing him as that three-year-old who started early intervention and who struggled to communicate. But Alex proved me wrong. He told his teachers about his dream, he helped his classmates, and he showed passion for teaching. His teachers and we, his family, believed in him, and together we watched him blossom.
He joined the Future Teacher Association at school, competed at the state level, where he won first place. He proudly shared his passion for becoming an IA in front of judges. Step by step, he turned his dream into reality. With determination, support from home, and encouragement from his teachers, Alex walked across that stage not only as a high school graduate but as a certified Instructional Assistant.
A Message to Families
Alex’s story is a reminder that our children—no matter the challenges they face—have dreams, passions, and incredible potential. They may not always communicate it the way we expect, but their hearts are full of desires and goals. As parents, our role is not to limit them, but to help them find the opportunities to shine in their own way.
The journey isn’t easy, but moments of triumph fill it and remind us just how strong and capable our children are. Let’s believe in them, advocate for them, and celebrate every victory—because each step forward is proof of their courage and determination.
About the Author – Verenice Castillo
Verenice Castillo is the Founder and CEO of the Military Spouse Advocacy Network (MSAN), author, mentor, changemaker, and military spouse. She founded MSAN in 2014 with a mission to create stronger military families through education, empowerment, and support. MSAN is the fastest-growing network of mentors providing peer-to-peer mentorship 24/7 to all military spouses through its Military Spouse Mentorship-HUB. MSAN’s impact has reached thousands of military spouses around the globe. Driven by a commitment to military spouses, Verenice created the Military Spouse Leadership Development Program and the recently launched Leadership Institute for Military Spouses. These initiatives equip military spouses with leadership skills and training from Ivy League Schools to be successful leaders in their communities.
National Recognition and Leadership Roles
Verenice works closely with the Department of Defense and has worked with multiple administrations. She has served on several boards at the local and national levels. Her efforts to contribute to Air Force families catapulted resiliency efforts for spouses and yielded Strength for Spouses in the fall of 2012. The Air Force utilized this program as a platform to create its own resiliency program for all Air Force spouses.
Verenice was named the 2013 AFI Air Force Spouse of the Year, and in 2015, she received the Volunteer Excellence Award presented by the Chief of Staff of the Air Force. In 2017, she was recognized as the Heroes at Home Air Force Spouse of the Year, and in 2019, she was named one of the 30 Women Military Influencers. In 2021, she was selected to participate in the prestigious Stand-To Veteran Leadership Training at the George W. Bush Presidential Institute. In 2022, she received the Marlowe Sherwood Memorial Service Award from the Park University Alumni Association.
Verenice is a servant leader who has made contributions to the well-being of her community and has advocated for the resources and support system that military families need and deserve.
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